B'nai Mitzvah Tutors
Speaking of the importance of teachers, Abraham Joshua Heschel said, “What we need more than anything else is not text-books but text-people. It is the personality of the teacher which is the text that the pupils read; the text that they will never forget. The modern teacher… is the intermediary between the past and the present as well.” He argued that relationships foster learning. This theory is proved in our interview with Bet Shalom’s “Trio of Torah Trope Tutors,” Heidi Roston, Shelly Christensen and Cantor Tamar Havilio.
Why do you tutor b’nai mitzvah students?
Heidi Roston
Heidi: I love passing on my love of Torah to students. I enjoy and excel at working one on one with this age group. The relationships I form with my students keep me coming back for more!
Shelly: I love that I get to work with some of our sixth and seventh grade students to help prepare them for the big day. It’s joyful work, walking alongside my students and their families, so I’ve been a tutor for over 23 years.
Cantor H: I have been teaching b’nai mitzvah students for over 25 years because one of my greatest joys is to nurture the love of Jewish text and tradition in young learners. I love hearing them understand the cantillation and bring the text to life through our sacred chant.
Our tradition tells us to “Teach each child according to their way (Proverbs 22:6). How do you teach the students Torah trope?
Shelly Christensen
Shelly: When I agreed to start tutoring b’nai mitzvah students, I first had to learn the musical notation or cantillation system called trope, and that was difficult for me! Each word of Torah is assigned a way to be chanted or sung indicated by little markings called trope signs. When a student begins learning their portion, they get a copy of their Torah portion that includes the vowels and trope signs. Eventually the student transfers what they’ve learned to a photocopy replica of their Torah portion—without vowels or trope—so they can practice chanting what they’ll see on the Torah scroll.
Cantor H: I teach the musical trope notation including the Hebrew name for each trope symbol. I also use the ancient tradition of cheironomy, which is hand symbols and motions to learn the trope in the body. This helps one to memorize the trope and apply it to the text. I started using the hand symbols when I had an almost 90% deaf rabbinic student at HUC and he asked me to teach him Torah cantillation. This challenge empowered me to create new hand symbols that allowed him to learn how to chant Torah. Once I started using this system of teaching trope everyone learned faster and more efficiently.
Heidi: There are many kinds of learners and many ways to connect to each student. Sometimes I use a dots and lines system to visually show students the rise and fall of the cantillation. Or I may teach a well known tune from a jingle or a song and apply the tune of the Torah to it. I also use body movements and hand motions to help kinesthetic learners feel the tune.
How do you connect with the students and form relationships with them?
Heidi: Many of my students were 3rd graders of my Religious School class so I had already had relationships with them. When I meet new tutoring students, I always start by chatting about their interests and activities, trying to get to know them personally. Since it can be very scary singing or chanting for someone who is new to you, I chant along with these students at first so they never feel alone in the process of becoming bar or bat mitzvah. I try to continue the relationships we form during tutoring by encouraging my students to become madrichim in the Religious School. Many of my past students have been madrichim in my own class.
Shelly: At their first tutoring session, I always ask my students two questions. The first is “What excites you most about becoming bar or bat mitzvah?” “My party!” “Gifts!” “Family and friends being there!” Once in a while a student will tell me that they are looking forward to being done. My second question is, “What are you most concerned or worried about?” The kids are quite candid. “What if I make mistakes?” “What if I forget?” “What if I can’t learn this?” The answers are valid and important as we reassure and build trust with our students. It’s natural to be nervous! Students always sense the importance of this day to their parents and family members, and they want everything to be perfect. Kids can be their harshest critics, so part of a tutor’s job is to help them learn patience and to put them at ease as we support their step-by-step successes. Progress, not perfection, is an important lesson theme in the preparation.
Cantor Havilio
Cantor H: I connect with students through learning their individual stories and what drives them to learn. If they play a certain sport or musical instrument, for example, I teach by way of this imagery that speaks to them. Then they connect to the whole process of becoming b’nai mitzvah much faster.
How do you mentor the students and help them succeed?
Cantor H: Each student has an individual path and learning style. I try to first understand their way of learning and then connect them to their Torah portion by way of connecting to their personal story. And I make sure their parents are involved and understand that they are part of the b’nai mitzvah journey.
Heidi: If students are struggling, I am understanding and try to figure out and fix their stumbling blocks. I like to set goals for my students so they can manage their time. If they come close to a goal or are struggling to meet or pass a goal date, I give them an extra push so they always progress and stay focused and diligent in their studies.
Shelly: I admire our students so much! It’s a big commitment and quite a journey—nine to ten months of individual weekly lessons, weekly b’nai mitzvah cohorts in religious school and related homework. Unless they have an older sibling, it’s hard for them to imagine what all this preparation is about.
How do b’nai mitzvah students change during their training?
Heidi: It’s wonderful to see some students gain confidence during the process of b’nai mitzvah training. They may start out quiet and shy, and by their Bar or Bat Mitzvah, they stand with confidence and display pride.
Shelly: Those uncertain pre-b’nai mitzvah students evolve over the course of time. One day they begin to see how far they’ve come and how much they are accomplishing. They start to see themselves in relationship to the content of their Torah portions and in the context of everyday life and the world around us.
Cantor H: Some students evolve through each step of the journey; others have a huge revelation towards the end and go through a major transformation. A lot happens in this special year of each child’s life that enables them to have tremendous growth.
Tell us a heart-warming personal story from your experience tutoring b’nai mitzvah students.
Heidi: I enjoy seeing my past students long after their b’nai mitzvah. One whose bat mitzvah was in 2007 stopped me recently as I was walking into a store. I was so happy to reconnect with her. I was relating this story to coworkers the next day, and I said that I couldn’t believe how she recognized me with a mask on! They said it was obvious that I had made an impression on her and that our relationship from 14 years ago was important. A few of my past b’nai mitzvah students are parents now, and I am taking care of their children, infants in the preschool. This is a special opportunity to continue the relationships I formed with my past students who are now adults. These multi-generational relationships bring me such joy!
Shelly: I have to share with you something one of my long ago students told me at the Kiddush lunch after his bar mitzvah. He walked up to me with a big wide grin on his face, gave me a hug, and said, “My bar mitzvah is the best day of my life!” I still get a little verklempt when I think about what he said.
Cantor H: My most memorable b’nai mitzvah experience was seeing the students who have struggled the most during the pandemic. They had moments when they thought they could not go on, but because of their dedicated teachers Heidi and Shelly and with the guidance of our rabbis, they rose to the occasion and taught their Torah. THIS is what it is all about. It is a celebration of each child’s Jewish journey and their family’s love that is embraced by our amazing Bet Shalom community.
