Did I Feel Safe?

By Janice Gross

Now that I am home from my February trip to Israel, the number one question I get asked is, “Did you feel safe?” That is such a strange question, but understandable. The answer depends on who is asking and what they mean… Did I feel safe as a Jew in Israel? Did I feel safe from a missile falling nearby? Did I feel safe getting onto the tour bus? Do we ever feel safe?? 

My name is Janice Gross; I joined Bet Shalom to be part of a community that my young kids would be able to grow with and call family. Jewish traditions and cultures are part of me, so I wanted a place for the lessons of Judaism to continue. My sister was a member, and she introduced me to this congregation where I felt at ease and welcomed. 

Here’s my story of how and why I went to Israel with the Minneapolis Jewish Federation’s Tikvateynu trip. It was a beautiful day in January when my daughter Brenna called me from college and said, “Mom, I want to go to Israel.” My initial reaction was, “No way! I am not sending my kid into a war zone! It’s not safe!” Funny how it ended up that we would visit Israel together one month later. 

This was my first trip to Israel. Being there with Brenna I experienced this mission both as a Jew desperately wanting to help those affected by the war and through the eyes of a mother in such tumultuous times. 

For me it got real when the group recited the shehecheyanu for the three of us who were entering Israel for the first time. I was finally in Israel, visiting our homeland, fulfilling my dream of meeting Israelis, learning more about our Jewish heritage, and eating great food. I never imagined my visit would be during war time as a volunteer. 

One of our experiences was visiting a bomb shelter near the Nova Musical Festival site. Aner Shapira was one of the many heroes on October 7th. He entered the bomb shelter built for 10 and found 24 frightened people inside. He told them he was a soldier, to calm down and that they could relax under his protection. He helped them.

Video footage shows a terrorist throwing a grenade into the shelter, then you see the grenade being thrown back outside of the shelter by Aner. He continued to receive and throw back 7 grenades to protect the people inside. Unfortunately the 8th grenade went off and many people were killed or taken hostages. Four survived by “playing dead” amongst their friends who did not survive the blast. 

This bomb shelter is still functional and serves as a memorial for those who were trapped inside or taken. Brenna and I were inside the shelter where many memorial candles are lit and beautiful writings are on the walls. While reading the writings, we heard our first Boom! from a missile launch. That was the moment that reality really hit. We were in the same place and similar situation as those before us, and I was scared. Are we safe? Brenna and I embraced, took a breath and waited. Our tour guide, Tzvi and security guard, Avi, assured us that the artillery was aimed away from Israel and we were safe. “No need to worry.” The booms continued throughout the morning. We could feel the percussion of each blast, hear the deafening sound and were reminded this was not just a normal tour and how vulnerable we were. We were really at war. 

Many Israelis I spoke with explained that running to a bomb shelter is a normal part of their lives. They don’t feel scared but are aware at all times. The false sense of security they had prior to October 7th has been obliterated. Now they live with caution, uncertainty and a strong devotion to protecting each other and the State of Israel. 

We witnessed many painful sites: the bomb shelter, the Nova music festival site, Hostage Square and many others. In coping with my own emotions I also was reacting to those of my daughter. Brenna is 19, the same age of many of the soldiers we met. I saw the world through a different lens since I was there with my child, holding her hand, crying for everything bad in the world. Every tear she shed stabbed my heart with the realization that there was nothing I could do to protect her. I can’t protect her from anti-semitism, from random acts of violence, from terrorism or from rockets falling from the sky. I felt like I could have been one of those moms who spoke to us at Hostage Square - whose children were killed or taken from them without reason. The pain that our youth has to face each day is something a parent can’t fix. I wear this dog tag in their honor and support. 

This war is affecting our world in every way. But the youth who must live through this are the generation of tomorrow and must be strengthened to stand up for what's right, to protect each other, to be human and stop the hate. 

So “Did I feel safe?” I am working on it. Through connections with our Tikvateynu group and community, it is an ongoing process. Until there is peace in Israel and the Jewish people, I will not know how to truly answer that question. 

My request to you is to stand up, show up and get involved. Reach out to others, don’t stay silent. I am working on this but have a long way to go. I believe in a future for Israel. 

Am yisrael chai! The people of Israel live!