Bet Shalom Card Club

by Joel Feder with Eric Bressler

I'm excited to talk with you about Bet Shalom's newest “Small Group,” Joel! Why did you decide to start the Card Club?

I was nominated and then invited to be part of the Leadership Development cohort last year. Going in I knew there would be an ask, which was confirmed on day one of the cohort, to get involved at Bet Shalom at some level, more than I already was. I began to think about what getting involved might look like. One of our sessions delved into the pillars of Bet Shalom, one of which is building community. My parents, Dan and Hillary Feder, have a ton of friends at Bet Shalom and know so many people due to their long history of involvement at the synagogue. I know their friends, but for the most part didn’t have my own friends there. It always annoyed me that I’d walk into the building and really only hang out with or talk with my parents’ peers. So getting involved with and building a community that had interests similar to mine seemed logical. 

I told Adam Cohen, President of Bet Shalom, and Rabbi Locketz that I wanted to start a poker group. They both chuckled, and I think they thought it was a joke, but quickly realized I was serious. Rabbi noted we can’t really call it a poker club, so I named it the Card Club instead. We only play one kind of cards, which makes it funnier.

Do you have a co-leader?

Nope, but a buddy in the group named Dean Miller was really supportive the first time I floated the idea and said he’d be “all in” if I made it happen. That vote of support and confidence definitely made me feel like it should happen. And I’d also say that everyone in the group’s pretty supportive of both my efforts to put it together/host, and when something comes up, either rescheduling or moving locations.

Who are the members? What are their age ranges?

We’ve had up to maybe 12 players in one single night once. On average we probably have somewhere between six to eight players per month. It’s definitely a rotating group based on schedules aligning. Ages range from mid-20s to 70s. It’s a diverse group tied together by the fact we are all part of the Bet Shalom community. We have just over 20 people in the two chat groups who have attended events.

Is membership open or by invitation?

It’s open. Anyone who’s part of the Bet Shalom community is welcome. I can host up to about 14 people per gathering split between two tables (we combine as people get knocked out). I’ve personally invited people I meet within the community, and so have others. It’s not exclusive.

How do the events work?

Today, we have a running Google spread sheet with tabs for the months/dates/gatherings that people can sign up. So I know how many and who is coming. Have to have enough seats! There are also currently two group chats, one that’s iMessage via iPhones (because everyone who initially joined had iPhones) and a Green Bubble Chat for the Android gang. That’s how we do instant communication and coordination outside of the Google sheet. It was decided early on that we have too many emails to use that platform for this club.

Is there any Jewish content?

I suppose at some level there is. Discussion varies by topic often and throughout the night. Sometimes we discuss the synagogue and happenings around it or the holidays. But in general it’s more about community building and making friends within Bet Shalom’s orbit rather than being about Judaism.

Which games do you play?

Funny, my wife asked when we morphed the name from Poker Club to Card Club, “What if someone wants to play hearts?” I told her, “Wrong group!” We play Texas Hold ‘Em. Five card, no limit, but the truth is the buy-in is $20. It’s not about getting rich, and no one is losing their mortgage here. It’s just about a good time and making friends.

Tell us about new relationships that have developed or others that have deepened.

That question is literally why this group was created. Now, many of the people in the Card Club can say that when we walk into Bet Shalom to drop off our kids, pick up our kids, or attend religious school gatherings, we see friends and familiar faces. We chat and hang out. We look forward to actually seeing people at Bet Shalom. That’s what it’s all been about. And in that regard, this has been a huge success.