Journeys to Community

By Molly Bryant

Three young women share their stories of self-discovery, finding their places at Bet Shalom, dealing with interfaith issues, and confronting their fears.

I knew I was missing something.  I yearned for friendship. I wanted to feel close to and rooted in the place I had moved to. I wanted community.

I moved frequently in my 20’s, looking for somewhere to settle down without really finding a place that fit. While I loved my work in Denver, I knew I needed a change after passing the bar in February 2021.  I dreamed of moving to Minneapolis to be closer to my family’s home in Iowa, practicing law there, and meeting someone to spend my life with. In November, I made the big move accepting a position as an attorney in legal aid in Minnesota.  By early 2022, all of my dreams were coming true, but something was missing: faith. 

My mother is Jewish and my father is Episcopalian. Although we were not religious, my parents instilled in us an incredible sense of purpose and love that was rooted in spirituality. So maybe it wasn’t just serendipity that I found the Communications Specialist position at Bet Shalom when I was looking for a second job. I interviewed with Steve Barberio and Rabbi Avrin, and the job felt like a good fit. Then they asked me about my background: was I Jewish? “Yes,” I said, “but I feel as though I lack connection to my spirituality.” They encouraged me to think about joining the synagogue.

So I leaned in and joined. I have found that I love communicating with congregants and learning about my religion. I love fostering relationships with the Rabbis. I have found my community!

My partner, Logan, grew up Catholic. He has since moved away from his faith but has a great appreciation for the lessons that religion can teach us. Since my journey back to Judaism began, he has fostered gratitude and understanding for the love and peace it has brought me. He recently attended his first service after returning from his nine month journey in Ireland and met many of the congregants who I have grown close with. Logan’s embracing of my Jewish community brings me great joy.

I spoke with two other congregants, Jamie Hurewitz and Athena Hays, about their paths to Judaism and to Bet Shalom. We had great conversations about what it means to be a part of Bet Shalom and to be a Jew in today’s society.

Jamie emphasized how finding Bet Shalom changed her perspective on community. Growing up, Jamie was a part of a Conservative synagogue. The environment was political and motivated by money. So when Jamie moved to Minnesota, she wanted a Reform synagogue. After having her first baby with her first husband Chris, she knew she had made the right choice when she had a disappointing experience with her childhood congregation. Jamie had baby naming ceremonies at both her parents’ synagogue and at Bet Shalom. But while her childhood synagogue was not accepting of her non-Jewish husband, Bet Shalom embraced him. Although Jamie and Chris are no longer married, Chris recently converted to Judaism and joined Bet Shalom to provide spirituality throughout his blended families. Jamie, Chris, and her current husband Matt, who is Jewish by birth, take pride in their ability to provide strength and stability to the family through their shared religion.

Athena had a similar experience. Athena has been a part of Bet Shalom since childhood. Her parents are Jewish; her mother converted. While she took some time away from Judaism during college, she never lost the feeling of community that Bet Shalom gave her. Even when her faith faltered as a bat mitzvah, the rabbis embraced and celebrated her questioning. Now she is in an interfaith marriage. Her husband, Tom, was raised Lutheran, and like Logan he has drifted from his roots. Tom identifies as agnostic now, and he has an incredible relationship with Bet Shalom where he feels loved, accepted, and welcomed by our community.

All three of us found a community at Bet Shalom that not only fostered trust and love but encouraged us to participate in congregational life. Athena is starting the Early Childhood Committee, heading up the Spring Fundraiser, and teaching as a float teacher in the preschool, which she loves. Jamie chairs the Social Action Committee and oversees its subcommittees with her own vision.  She is also serving on the Board of Trustees. I have taken on additional responsibilities within my Communications Specialist position including publishing Tapestry on Bet Shalom’s website and sending out HaEtone and other announcements. I hope to use my experience as a housing attorney in the work of the Social Action Committee’s subcommittee on Affordable Housing.

While our involvement in the community drives us, it does not come without the reality of fear. With the constant threat of antisemitism in the news, it is hard to face the fear head-on. Jamie combats this fear through education. When asked about how she feels about the current climate, she insists that although she is an introvert, when it comes to her beliefs, she is strong and speaks out. Jamie hopes that by educating her community outside of Bet Shalom, she can change minds about our community and Judaism as a whole. She points out that we may not know where people come from and what they have experienced, so having an open mind and hoping others are open to listening is an asset, not a weakness. Jamie emphasizes the importance of youth involvement and creating a strong foundation for children when they experience friends and community outside of Bet Shalom. Exposing others to our background and embracing other peoples’ backgrounds is one way we can spread love and combat hate.

Athena and I discussed our feelings of oppression and not knowing if the fear we feel is valid or worthy. She experiences the strange feeling of being a minority in the community without looking like one. There is a quote I think of often, “Oppression is not a competition.” This resonates with Athena, too. She admits her fear for her children and her community outside of Bet Shalom. Being a wedding photographer, many of her colleagues are Christian, and she finds that their values often do not align with hers. She deeply appreciates the community she has fostered with the synagogue for this reason. 

Our journeys back to Judaism and Bet Shalom’s community have shaped and defined us into the proud Jewish women we are today. I wouldn’t change it for a thing, and I am eternally grateful for the community I have found at Bet Shalom.