Discovering Our Truth | Sitting at the Table

Rabbi Jill Crimmings 

Yom Kippur Day 5778 

Discovering our Truth | Sitting at the Table 

I’ve come to learn that there are certain aspects of my life that invite a nearly universal reaction, while there are others that welcome such varied responses that I don’t have time to share all of them, even on Yom Kippur. For example, for the past two years and three months, after the birth of our youngest, Emmett, almost every single time that someone sees me with all three of my kids, now ages 5, 3, and 2, the nearly universal response I receive is, “You have your hands full!” I have heard this phrase hundreds, if not thousands of times. I’ve heard it from strangers and close friends alike. I’ve heard it from many of you. Let me be clear, I don’t mind it. I do, in fact, have my hands full. It actually brings me joy to be able to bring people together around what is apparently a culturally transcendent recognizable Truth. 

The joy in this shared Truth is even more pronounced when I compare it to the vast array of reactions I receive about another aspect of myself… my identity as a rabbi. I recognize this aspect of my identity as a truth, and all of you recognize it as a truth, but unfortunately it is not universally shared in the broader Jewish world. I’ve been amazed at the wide range of reactions I receive when I share this part of myself. Sometimes it is shock, if I’m talking to someone in a non-religious setting, like a sporting event or a grocery store. Sometimes it is confusion, like the many conversations I have had with taxi drivers in Israel who simply could not comprehend the concept of a female rabbi. They didn’t reject it, they just couldn’t grasp it. I once had a taxi driver so insistent that I had the Hebrew word wrong, and was trying to tell him I was studying photography, even though the two words don’t even sound very much alike. He was still at a loss, even after switching to English. 

Sometimes I receive overwhelming support and pride when I share what I do. So many people are excited to celebrate female clergy in a leadership position and I am forever grateful to those who paved the way for my generation. And yet, the work is not done, for there are also times that I receive rejection and disgust, which I often don’t actually experience first hand… because those who reject my status as a rabbi typically refuse to acknowledge me face to face. 

This rejection is of course not directed toward me personally, or only to women rabbis... it extends to my male colleagues as well, to Reform, Conservative, and often Modern Orthodox rabbis, both here in the United States, and also in Israel. It is also not just rabbis, but any Jew who understands and practice Judaism outside the strict and literal bounds of Ultra Orthodoxy. This rejection from the Ultra Orthodox world is not new, but it is growing, both locally and in Israel, and it is a threat to the future of the Jewish people. 

The Ultra Orthodox population is growing at dramatic rates, and have gained significant political power in Israel in recent years. This summer, a bill was introduced in the Israeli Knesset that undermines progressive Judaism in two significant ways. First, it freezes plans for an expanded egalitarian prayer space at the Western Wall. This means that there would not be area on the Western Wall plaza for men and women to pray together. Second, it gives the Ultra Orthodox Rabbinate complete oversight in recognizing conversions in the state of Israel. This means that a conversion completed with a Reform, Conservative, or Modern Orthodox rabbi in Israel will not be recognized by the state. This will result in many obvious daily challenges for these individuals, beyond the pain of being stripped of your core identity by the very nation you love and defend. 

This hatred toward non-Ultra Orthodox Jews can be a painful reality for progressive Jews who live in or visit Israel. I have personally been the victim of multiple acts of discrimination and hatred from my fellow Jews in the land of Israel. You may have heard of a group called Women of the Wall, which is a gathering of women that meets at the Western Wall at the start of each month to pray together out loud. I have participated in these services a number of times and each time received harassment by both men and women who feel women should not raise their voices in prayer or read from the Torah. It is a surreal experience to have your fellow Jews screaming at you while you are trying to pray. I’ve had bleach thrown my way twice, though it didn’t hit me either time, for wearing a kippah and for not dressing modestly enough while out for a run on the streets of Jerusalem. This was 10 years ago, during my first year of rabbinical school, during a time when tensions were high, but not as divisive as they are today. 

This year, during the Women of the Wall service for the start of the month of Elul, two future colleagues who are in their first year of rabbinical school at HUC-JIR, were strip searched at the entrance of the Western Wall to confirm that they were not smuggling in Torahs underneath their clothes. Then, just a few weeks ago, the Chief Rabbi of Jerusalem, Shlomo Amar, spoke out against Reform Jews and our efforts to secure an egalitarian prayer space at the wall. Amar said that Reform Jews are worse than Holocaust Deniers, saying that we do not have Yom Kippur or Shabbat and that we deny that men and women were separated during the Temple period. These kinds of statements, particularly by someone whose salary is paid by the Israeli government, are outrageous and unacceptable. They encourage and invite harassment, and sure enough, after Amar’s statements, death threats were made to leaders in the Reform movement. 

Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu disavowed Amar’s remarks, saying, “All Jews are part of one family and the diversity of our people should always be respected. I categorically reject any attempt to delegitimize any part of the Jewish people.” But then, a week later, he issued another statement suggesting that non-Orthodox Jews are using the issue of the Western Wall prayer space for political leverage. He said that the Reform and Conservative Movements wanted to get recognition via the backdoor, secretly, under the pretext of a technical clause of joint administration of the Western Wall. 

These issues of Jewish peoplehood and religious pluralism are not confined to the state of Israel. Here at Bet Shalom, we too are confronted with the reality that there are Jews in our local community who don’t recognize our sanctuary as a sanctuary, our rabbis as rabbis, and many Jews in our congregation as Jews. 

Rabbi Locketz and I have heard from numerous young people in our congregation who have been made to feel inadequate or less Jewish simply because they belong to a Reform congregation or have a parent who isn’t Jewish. Some have even been told that they are not actually Jewish and need to go through a process of conversion. We are, and should be, offended by all of these acts of discrimination, no matter how small. I hope that when we hear them or experience them, our response will not be to walk away, but rather to increase our involvement and engagement. We must not cede authority to those who connect to a more traditional approach to Judaism. 

I want you to know that Reform Judaism is not Judaism Light. Your Jewish identity is not defined by whether you keep Kosher or observe Shabbat by someone else’s standards. There is more than one way to authentically engage in Jewish tradition and practice and the Reform Movement stands on deep principles and a rich history that is grounded in Torah. Your Jewish identity is also not defined by how frequently you come to services, whether you struggle with God, read Hebrew, or disagree with the policies of the current Israeli government. Jewish identity is not something that you can have more or less of. It is a part of our being that each of us express in different ways, and though it may be stronger at certain times, it is always there. We all deserve to sit at the table, including those of you who are not Jewish, but who are building a Jewish home, raising your children as Jews, and participating in the life our congregation. 

But just because we deserve a seat doesn’t mean that we have an excuse to sit back and do nothing. We can all learn more. We can all do more… And the truth is that if we want others to take us seriously and accept us as equals in the tent of Jewish peoplehood, we must be comfortable and confident in who we are and what we believe. 

This comfort and confidence is the first step in the difficult work of Jewish pluralism. Pluralism is not about watering down our differences and catering to those with the most traditional approach. Rather, pluralism requires us to sit together and discuss and debate our differences in a respectful way. This requires, of course, that we spend time learning and thinking about what we believe. 

In a recent episode of NPR’s “On Being,” Arnold Eisen, the Chancellor of the Jewish Theological Seminary, discussed the legacy of Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel and his work in the area of pluralism. 

Eisen described that one of the challenges of pluralism today is that our world has shifted so dramatically toward a desire for tolerance and acceptance that people have lost a desire and commitment to developing their own worldview. Eisen relates this through the following story, saying: 

I’ll never forget one of my experiences this year of visiting an eighth-grade class at a Jewish private school and having a discussion about relativism with the eighth-graders. And there was a boy there who was insisting that my belief that murder is wrong was just my opinion. Now, he agreed with me too. “But that’s our opinion, he said. But it’s not really true; it’s just an opinion.” 

Eisen then goes on to say, “And that’s bad, you see, because we have to believe there are some things that are right and other things that are wrong, there are some things that are true and other things that are false, and yet, have the largeness of vision to work with people who disagree with us profoundly. And this is a balance that’s very hard. It’s hard in theory; it’s even harder in practice. 

Eisen then goes on to talk about the way Heschel served as a model for this difficult work, not only in his writings, but also in the work he did within the Jewish community and beyond. He suggests that it takes significant humility to engage in pluralism because you have to, one, have enough education to figure out what you believe, two, admit that there is a possibility you may be wrong, and three, be willing to put yourself out there in a real, but also respectful way. 

As we think about what aspects of this community we connect to, whether it be a principal or ideology, a person, or a feeling we have but can’t explain, I hope you will come speak to us about your convictions and also about the areas you want to learn more about. Pluralism starts at home, and we are here for you as you figure out what this spiritual home means to you. I also hope you will feel empowered to be an active member of K’lal Yisrael, the broader people of Israel. Judaism has always relied on, and thrived, because of our commitment to the inclusion of multiple opinions. 

We can do this in a number of different ways, both in the local Jewish community in the Twin Cities, and also in our relationship to Israel. Here at home, we can each do our part in our daily interactions with friends and family members who belong to other congregations. We can do so by authentically sharing why we are proud to be Reform Jews. We can also do so by actively taking part in efforts of the larger Jewish community… by working with the many wonderful organizations that make this community so vibrant. By simply showing up, we dramatically change the conversation for the better. 

The same is true with our relationship to Israel. There is more than one way to connect to Israel and we have an obligation to both love and wrestle with Israel… Last week, Rabbi Rick Jacobs, the President of the Union for Reform Judaism wrote an open letter to Prime Minister Netanyahu, stating: 

Our love for Israel transcends governments and harsh policies against us. Our love for Israel transcends the hateful words and actions against us by Jewish religious extremists in Israel. We are not giving up on Israel, on equality, or on democracy. We will continue to insist on our rights. 

Such strong statements are critical. Now is the time to stand up, to travel to Israel, to increase our support of Israelis working for justice and religious tolerance. As Reform Jews, we can support ARZA, the Association of Reform Zionists of America, and IMPJ, the Israel Movement for Progressive Judaism. I am pleased that the Overseas Committee of the Minneapolis Jewish Federation, on which I sit, moved to increase our gift to the dedicated work JAFI, the Jewish Agency For Israel, does to support religious pluralism in Israel. We can, and should, add our voices to the Israel conversation, for we too are part of the people of Israel. 

This year has been a year of truth searching. What truths do we consume and what truths to do we share with the world? How do we develop truths about ourselves, and how do others develop their own truths about us? And how do we find a way to live together? 

My hope is that in the coming year, we will be open to the difficult work of pluralism, both within the Jewish world and beyond. May we find the determination to continue learning and developing our worldview. May we find the humility to admit that our worldview may not always be right, and may we find the courage to sit next to those we disagree with. 

Gemar Chatimah Tovah - May our voices, our differences, our opinions, and our truths, continue to be sealed in the book of life.